Every Step of the Way (I'll Be There)
by kattythingz
Summary: There's more to Robin than just being their leader. OR: 4 times the team individually bond with Robin, and the 1 time they do it together. Rated M for the last chapter (A very... adult crime).
1. Raven

**I love Teen Titans and it needs more love, hence the fic. Enjoy!**

**DSICLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM!**

* * *

Raven's thoughts on Robin have never settled in once place. They were like an evolution, with each thought adding to the next.

First, he was a stranger, but that one didn't last long because within minutes of meeting her, he became a friend. It was rather silly of her, but no one had ever welcomed her so easily, so _trustingly_, not without a catch. She couldn't help that one, how could she deny the first person that's ever accepted her?

Soon enough he became a leader, _her _leader. Raven has never been on a team before (she tended to avoid groups), but when Robin formed their little team without even meaning to, he made the prospect of having a team seem so simple. He didn't need time to settle into the role they'd thrust onto him (they took a vote, obviously), he just… did it. Some days he came off as bossy and heartless, but Raven could never fault that part of him; she'd heard of the horrible crimes that occurred in Gotham, it was honestly a wonder Robin still had the heart to have fun and be a normal teenager.

Finally, he became her friend. Raven had tried to keep a professional relationship with him in the beginning, but Robin was surprisingly persistent when it came to getting her to open up. He never stopped inviting her to join the team in whatever ridiculous activity they were doing, but he did so with a respectful distance. When she said "no", he accepted that and didn't push her. When she wanted to just be alone, he left her alone.

He was the only one that understood her, in that sense. The only one that really tried to understand her, really. Cyborg and Beast Boy certainly tried, but they always gave up or kept pushing her, overall becoming a nuisance sometimes. Starfire was naively open with her, but she kept expecting Raven to return the favor. Raven couldn't bring herself to be so open, so trusting.

Robin was the only one that understood that.

Which is what led to… a tradition of sorts. Whenever Raven woke up, Robin was already up. She never asked him why because she knew. She knew it was because he had nightmares frequently, or just his insomnia acting up.

Knowing that, Raven decided she owed it to her leader and friend to help him out a little. Raven has awoken from enough nightmares to start a habit of drinking a mug of calming herbal tea. Raven has never seen Robin drink tea, only coffee, but maybe it could help him.

So, really, it's understandable that he's confused when she wordlessly offered him a mug one day.

He took it anyway, of course, and soon enough he stopped questioning it. The tradition kept going.

One particular morning, Raven woke up to a disturbance in the air. Or maybe it was her mind. Whatever it was, it woke her up.

She closed her eyes and focused on the source, but with her new connection to Robin after last night's fiasco, she easily found what, or _who_, the source was.

Of course, he couldn't sleep after that, Raven thought as she floated through the halls. Who could sleep after being literally haunted by a ghost of your trauma?

She stopped at the door to the roof. She took a moment to consider if she should comfort Robin or leave him be and decided on the former.

Robin has helped through many similar scenarios, silently sitting next to her and just offering her the comforting presence of a friend. She had to do the same for her friend. She chanted under her breath and pushed open the door.

The first thing she saw was his silhouette, sharply contrasting the bright outline the sun was giving it. He almost looked solemn from where she was standing, even without seeing his expression.

She floated slowly, just to give him time to tell her off if he wanted to. When he remained silent, crouched with his arms pulling his knees to his chest, she sat down.

When a few minutes passed of him just staring ahead blankly, Raven finally spoke up. "You… wanna talk about it?"

She didn't really know what to say in situations like this. Usually, it was the other way around.

Robin's voice was raspy with sleep when he responded, "Not really."

A wind blew through. Raven turned her gaze to Robin, taking in the odd sight of him in his pajamas and un-gelled hair. He almost looked like a stranger, had it not been for the ever-present domino mask.

She was surprised when he suddenly started talking. "Raven, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Stay calm and collected, never lash out… how do you do it?"

She took a moment to format a response. "It's not like I never lash out, I just keep those emotions in. Actions ruled by emotion are dangerous, especially for my powers."

Robin turned to look at her. She felt a conflicted mix of emotions from him, like he couldn't settle on one. She has never been able to read him well before, but now she felt like she was intruding with the way his emotions poured over her.

"Can you teach me?" he asked. "How to control my emotions, I mean."

"You already can," she pointed out. He had an annoyingly good poker-face, and sometimes she wished she could get as good a read on him as she could now.

"Not when it matters," Robin said quietly, oozing a concerning amount of self-hatred and disappointment. Something else too, like... Regret?

_Slade, _she realized with a beat, _He's talking about Slade._

All the Titans noticed the way he lashed out when it came to Slade. He lost his cool, he screamed at them for the littlest things, and he had no control over his actions. Even his combat suffered, and he was probably the most skilled Titan among them, even without powers. He single-handedly took them down both as Red X and as Slade's… unwilling apprentice.

Both of which were also born from Slade. It always came down to Slade.

"You don't have to," Robin said, misinterpreting her silence. "It's not an order as your leader, I'm just asking you as my friend."

_Friend. _He was her _friend_. She could even go as far as to call him her soul-sibling. Of course, she'd help him, what was he thinking?

"Of course, I'll help you," she sighed. "Don't think so low of me."

"I didn't mean-"

"I know," she smiled. It was small, but it always came to her lips around Robin. Always Robin.

He smiled back, a genuine one so unlike his usual smirk or mischievous grin.

"Let's get started then," she said, willfully ignoring the strange satisfied warmth inside her. Almost like satisfaction, but fonder. More familiar.

"First, go into a lotus…"

Robin picked up meditating surprisingly well for someone so emotional (ironic, really). As soon as he got a grasp of it, he was in the zone. They spent the better part of the morning meditating, the combined sound of their chanting filling the silent air around them. Raven has meditated with Starfire before, a nice way to spend quality time with the enigmatic alien, but it didn't feel as serene as it did at this moment.

Then again, Robin has always managed to make himself an exception with her.

They stayed like that until their friends came to drag them to breakfast. Raven watched as Beast Boy and Cyborg dragged Robin, both relentlessly teasing him ("I swear it's a sign of the apocalypse. Robin, LATE!"). Instead of snapping at them or cutting them off, Robin followed them silently with a smile on his lips, and something inside Raven settled.

And as she walked beside her friends, Robin sent her a grateful smile and spoke almost as loudly as the gratitude flowing through their bond.

She smiled back, and she knew she didn't need to voice a response to his silent gratitude.

They didn't need words, not anymore.


	2. Beast Boy

**Listen, Beast Boy and Robin have so much fluff potential if people WOULD JUST WRITE MORE ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP! SO, I did it myself.**

**DISCLAIMER: STILL DON'T OWN IT.**

* * *

Beast Boy's idol has always been Robin. Even though he was already part of an awesome team himself, he always found himself in awe of the little boy that managed to land the job of being_ Batman's _sidekick.

And then an alien crashed in Jump City, and it all snowballed from there.

The Robin he'd always looked up to, the one that gracefully flew off buildings and effortlessly kicked butt while making jokes and laughing, was gone. This Robin was different. Stoic. Serious.

Like Batman.

Not to say Beast Boy didn't like the Dark Knight, but he'd always loved the Dynamic Duo because of their, well, dynamic. The stoic Batman and the cheery Robin. It all balanced out perfectly. Now it just seems like there are two Batmans, and Beast Boy can't say if he likes that or not.

He tried not to think too much of it, after all, Robin was still his friend. He was bossy and oftentimes mean to him, but he figured he deserved it most of the time since he did crack jokes at the most inopportune times. Still, would it kill the guy to smile more?

So as soon as their team formed, Beast Boy set out on a mission: to get closer to Robin and crack his jagged exterior.

… As soon as he learns how to stop cowering under his leader's glare. Seriously, how can someone glare so effectively with a _mask _on? It couldn't be that hard; Mento has glared at him enough to make him somewhat immune to I-am-your-leader glares, so all he had to do was get used to Robin's, right?

But Mento was older, and arguing with him was like arguing with a parent, which is to say, he never won against him. But Robin… Robin wasn't Mento. They're similar, almost scarily so, but Robin always found a way to prove him wrong about that.

Mento didn't play videogames with him. He didn't crack smiles at Beast Boy's jokes. He didn't pat him on the back or tell him "You were great out there!" or "I'm proud of you."

Robin did those things, and Beast Boy slowly stopped comparing them.

But Robin was still the Titan's leader, so there were times when he had to be professional and detached. Beast Boy understood, he really did, but he still found himself getting more and more annoyed at Robin.

Beast Boy has learned to just shut up and do as he says in the Doom Patrol, but this wasn't the Doom Patrol. This was the Teen Titans, and the Teen Titans weren't just a team, they were a team of _friends._

So he couldn't help but feel worse when he was being scolded by Robin; because Robin wasn't just his leader, he was also his friend, and friends don't treat each other like this.

It was only after Terra's betrayal that any real progress happened between them.

There he was, sadly curled around the box he'd made for Terra, when the sound of the door opening sounded in his ears. He looked up, expecting to see Cyborg or Starfire (the only two that actually did this thing called _emotions_). He was definitely not expecting to see Robin standing there, looking painfully awkward and out of place.

Beast Boy has never seen his leader look so uncertain, but he really wasn't in the mood to think about Robin. He just wanted to cry, but he would never do that in front of Robin.

Robin cleared his throat, subtly shuffling in place as he asked, "Can I come in?"

When he didn't get an answer, Robin walked in and edged closer to him. Beast Boy kept his head down and curled closer to the box, something that didn't leave Robin's notice.

"I'm… sorry."

He looked up in surprise. Robin was _apologizing_?

He had to morph back to human if he wanted to respond, but Beast Boy wasn't sure if he could speak without breaking down, so he stayed as he was and simply looked at him.

Robin sighed, sitting a good distance away from him on the bed. "If I hadn't driven Terra away, Slade wouldn't have been able to turn her on us. I'm sorry."

He wanted to say that it wasn't Robin's fault, but some sick s_ad _part of him disagreed with that. Maybe if Robin hadn't said what he said, Terra would've stayed with them and joined the team, then he wouldn't be here wallowing in his sadness.

But anyone could've made that mistake, or at least see it. Starfire would've been too nice to comment on it, Cyborg would've tried to help by upgrading the Training Grounds to suit Terra's power more, and Raven would've bluntly pointed it out anyway. Robin noticed and assumed she wouldn't care if he pointed it out.

Looking back on it, Robin hadn't said it cynically. He'd said it casually, like he didn't mean any harm with the comment. One thing Beast Boy can confidently say about his leader is that he cared about his team, no matter how he showed it, so Robin was probably worried that Terra's lack of control would hurt his friends somehow.

… It really wasn't his fault, was it?

Beast Boy morphed back before he could change his mind, and Robin almost jumped in surprise at the sudden shift. He looked at Beast Boy silently, waiting for him to say something. Now or never, he said to himself.

"It wasn't your fault," he finally said.

Robin looked like he didn't believe him, so he tried again. "It wasn't," he insisted. "You thought it was obvious and pointed it out the way you usually do with the things you find obvious. If you hadn't said it then, you would have said it later."

"But I drove her away," Robin repeated. "Don't you hate me for that?"

"Not gonna lie, you're pretty annoying when you want to be," Beast Boy tried for a grin, but it felt fake even to him. "But no, I don't hate you. So, this isn't your fault."

He almost jumped when he received a small smile from his friend. It was such a rare sight, and here he was on the receiving end of it. "Thank you, Beast Boy. Really."

Beast Boy wasn't sure what to say to that. Robin cut him off before he could formulate a response.

"About what you said before that," Robin started, and Beast Boy groaned. Why, oh why, did he go and poke the beast with a stick. "I recognize that I'm not… the nicest… when it comes to you, and-"

"You're the leader, you're supposed to tell me when I mess up. It's fine!" Beast Boy waved his arms frantically. He disliked Robin's leader personality, but that didn't mean he wanted his friend to feel bad about it. He was still his friend!

"I am," Robin agreed. "But not as excessively as I do. There are times when you deserve it, I'll admit-"

"Thanks," he grumbled.

"-but that doesn't mean I get to talk down on you or take out all my frustrations on you. I've treated you like crap, you have a right to hate me, honestly."

His jaw dropped in surprise. Robin apologizing to him was one thing, but Robin apologizing to him about being an asshole was a whole other thing. He took a moment to take in what Robin had just said to him.

… Nope. He had to be hallucinating.

"Do… do you mind saying that again?" He asked sheepishly.

Robin let out a small laugh. "I am not saying that again, but I will say this: the next time I start talking down on you for something stupid, don't stand there. Argue, yell at me, anything. Just don't let me push you around like that. A leader is supposed to encourage, not discourage."

All thoughts of Terra left his mind as he realized what this meant. Robin was _apologizing to him_. Robin just told him _to not take his shit_. Now he's _sure_ he's hallucinating.

Beast Boy started laughing at the hilarity of the situation. Robin stared at him incredulously as he laughed. When he finally managed to calm down, he said, "Dude, you realize there's no turning back now?"

Robin grinned. "Yeah, I might regret this later."

"No way!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "You said it! I wish I recorded that, this is amazing!"

"You're a little too happy about this," Robin observed plainly, though his fond expression contradicted his statement. Then, his face fell as he continued, "Am I really that mean to you? I really am sorry Beast Boy-"

"Dude, chill, it's cool." Robin gave him a flat look. "Okay, so it's not cool, but at least you're apologizing for it! That's a start, right?"

Beast Boy held his breath as Robin contemplated what he said. Finally, Robin gave in, "I guess it is. Sure."

This time his grin came unconsciously, and he couldn't stop the instinct to hug his friend. Robin yelped in surprise as he suddenly found himself with an armful of excited green teenager, but then he adjusted and returned the hug awkwardly.

Beast Boy smiled into the crook of Robin's neck. He could get used to this.

He pulled away a second later. "Dude, you really need to work on your hugs."

Robin laughed at that. "Oh, shut up, green bean."

"Hey!"

Outside, three teenagers heaved a collective sigh of relief at the sound of laughter. They'd been worried about their green friend, but it seems their leader was finally able to cheer him up. Reassured that things were okay, the teens smiled and left the boys to themselves.

They had some bonding to catch up on, after all.

* * *

**Okay but imagine Beast Boy turning into an animal and just cuddling close to Robin. Like, turning into a cat so Robin can pet him to destress, or turning into a giant breed of dog to keep Robin comfortable when he falls asleep on the couch. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!**


	3. Cyborg

**There are four episodes about this friendship, but is it popular? NOOOO, Let's write more about KF and Jinx WHO ONLY HAVE ONE EPISODE. **

**Sorry, I'm a little frustrated at the lack of content there is on this beautiful friendship. They're totally the kind to geek out together, FIGHT ME!**

**DISCLAIMER: I wish.**

* * *

That accident was supposed to be the end for Victor Stone. In a way, it was. Victor was dead, and in his place was a monster, a freak of nature. His parents tried to tell him otherwise, but how could he believe them when all he could see was that blasted blue and metal? When all he couldn't even go outside without people edging away from him, pulling their children away, telling them to "stay away from the scary man".

No, Victor Stone was dead.

He dropped out of school and, eventually, chose to go out on his own. He thanked his parents, and he ran away. Because there was no place for a monster in this family.

His journey led him to Jump City. it was peaceful enough, and the people didn't bother you so long as you didn't bother them. It was perfect for a freak like him.

And then the alien crashed into his town, and he knew he had to do something. This was the only place he could rebuild his life, he would not let it be destroyed by an alien throwing a tantrum.

That tantrum ended up being the catalyst to something big, something more than a crew of evil alien-traffickers trying to destroy his town.

It founded the Teen Titans. It marked the day he found a place where he belonged, here amongst four equally strange people: a goth with freaky powers, a green changeling, an alien ex-slave, and a very emotionally constipated teenager with an attitude.

It's a strange bunch, but it's _his _bunch.

They formed a team, something he's not exactly foreign to. He used to be on a football team, he knew how team dynamics worked. When it came down to choosing a leader, though, he hesitated.

He so badly wanted to be the leader, to finally become a man with his own team and purpose, but he knew who really deserved that title. Robin was definitely younger than him, and at 5'4 he barely looked older than 14, but he was the most capable. He knew exactly what to do in an unknown situation, and he led them without hesitation. That was the attitude of a leader, and he didn't even need to try when he fell into that persona.

The answer was obvious.

So Robin became their leader, and the rest is history.

Their little ragtag group was strange, but maybe that was exactly why he felt so at peace with them. He's left his old life behind. Now he was no longer Victor Stone, but a Teen Titan. One that… didn't have a name.

Until he did.

It was a few days after the whole alien fiasco, and he was going over some plans for their new home with Robin, his new leader. The kid had some great ideas and combined with his own engineering genius, they came up with the perfect plan. He had to admit, it felt amazing to finally be able to geek out about physics and engineering with someone who _understood _what he was saying.

"I'm so glad you're smart, man," he grinned at Robin. "BB is cool and all, but I can't really geek out without him being lost."

Robin laughed. "I hear ya. It's been a while since I've met someone who understood physics so complex."

"You any good at robotics and tech?" He asked. Maybe he could finally share his passion with someone. Not everyone found tech and computers a fun past-time, and having a partner in that for a change would be pretty nice.

"I know a few things," Robin smiled that smile that he has come to translate as "hell yeah I'm good".

"Cool! So, for the security, I was thinking-"

"Before we get into that," Robin cut in, raising his hand in a 'stop' motion. "What do you want me, us, to call you? We can't keep calling you 'dude' forever."

He paused, unsure what to say to such a heavy question. He could tell them his first name, but he just couldn't associate himself with that name anymore. He had a new life with the Titans, he couldn't move on until he left everything behind.

He focused on the blueprints as he answered, "I'm… I'm not sure. I don't want to use my old name, not anymore, but I can't just go without a name. You know?"

No, of course, he didn't know! What was he thinking-

"I understand," Robin said. He looked up in surprise. Robin's smile was strange, it wasn't one he'd seen before today. It almost felt… nostalgic. Sad. Understanding. "Trust me, I do. There are days when I want to just go by Robin for the rest of my life, but my ID isn't exactly a subtle one, you know?"

"Yeah," he breathed. _He understood him. _"I do."

"I chose Robin because it reminds me of who I used to be, but in a good way," Robin said as he turned his gaze to the ocean before them. "I can't leave this part of me behind, it's too important to me."

He looked at Robin for a moment, _really _looked. He thought the kid was just another cocky tenager with an attitude, but right now, at this moment, all he could see was someone that was lost.

_Like him._

"So, how did you choose your name, then?" he asked.

"I thought of the one thing that defined me, that made me feel like _me_, but not me. I hope that makes sense?" Robin said, his voice sounding unsure.

"It makes perfect sense," he agreed. "So, something that defines me but doesn't define _all _of me."

"Exactly!" Robin grinned. He didn't say anything else, and it took him a second to realize that he was waiting for him to decide.

Something that defined him… he wasn't even sure of _who _he was anymore, not after that accident took everything away from him. He was nothing more than a freak, a monster, a-

The realization hit him hard all at once. _A cyborg. _

He would probably never be fully human again, but a lot of his personality hasn't changed. He was still the same person he used to be, but not, at the same time. _Cyborg._

"Call me Cyborg," Cyborg decided, smiling when Robin sent him a proud grin.

"Cyborg" he tested. "Sounds good. Well then, _Cyborg_, what did you have in mind for security?"

Looking back on that day, Cyborg was sure that was when Robin went from being his leader to his friend. In a sense, Robin freed him. No, that was wrong. Robin didn't free him, he just made it easier for Cyborg to do that himself.

God, Robin has no idea how many he's helped without even trying. Cyborg may not be able to read emotions like Raven can, but he prides himself in knowing Robin pretty well. So well, in fact, that he can tell when Robin is brooding about Slade just by looking at his facial expression.

His mechanical eye was handy when it came to things like that.

So, when Robin started flaking on the team while "following Slade leads", he knew there was more to it. Robin wasn't just brooding, he was plotting. Cyborg had half a mind to investigate the matter, but there was a rogue thief on the loose that had access to his systems and he needed to be ready.

The rogue thief, Red X. Who, as it turns out, was Robin the whole time.

Cyborg had no idea how to feel about that. He was angry, obviously, that their leader had gone behind their backs like that, but he knew logically that they probably would've eased up on him if they'd known. Still, the betrayal stung.

He scoured the tower for Robin, and his search eventually led him to the gym. He heard the usual panting and the rattling of a punching bag. A loud _thud_ and Cyborg knew it had been knocked off the chain. Only one person did that.

"You might wanna have mercy on the poor thing," he kept his voice even and light, hoping that Robin wouldn't be aggravated by it. He was a ticking bomb as it was, just waiting to explode if someone pushed him enough.

Robin grunted in lieu of a greeting, otherwise ignoring him in favor of fixing the destroyed bag. Cyborg heaved an internal sigh. Getting Robin to open up was never an easy task.

"I could spar with you if you want a better workout," Cyborg tried again. Sparring always helped Robin, most likely a habit he'd gained from being raised by the Bat himself.

"No thanks," Robin said curtly, right back on punching the bag.

Fine, if this was how it was gonna be.

"Look, man, you've been on edge all week and it's been putting _us _on edge. What's bugging you so much?" If small talk was a no, he had to stick to the usual tactic of prying.

"Nothing is on my mind," Robin panted.

"Totally," Cyborg rolled his eyes. "Look, if you would just talk to us-"

"There is _nothing_ to talk about!" Robin snapped, finally turning a withering gaze at him.

Oh, no. Robin may be his leader, but he will not let this kid take up an attitude with him.

"Listen, we're just trying to help," Cyborg glared right back. "What is it with you and bottling things up? Why can you just trust us?"

"I don't need help!" Robin affirmed. "Why does everyone keep telling me I need help? First Slade, and now you guys? Seriously!"

"Because we're your friends you dick!" Cyborg caught the hint of a flinch, but he pressed on. "We're a _team _for a reason. We're supposed to help you! As leader, you should know that more than anyone!"

Robin seemed to deflate at his last phrase. Then, with a sharp voice and a sneer, "Then why don't you be the leader if you're such a leader on team etiquette!"

Cyborg froze. When the team had formed, they'd unanimously voted for Robin because they trusted his ability to lead them. He was cocky and rude, but he was their leader and their friend, so that didn't matter. Cyborg figured he had it in himself to lead, and it was probably why Robin's named him second-in-command, but to hear Robin _suggest _something like this now-

"What are you talking about?" Cyborg asked incredulously.

"If I'm so bad at being a team player, why don't you just lead the team?" Robin said bitterly. He clenched his fists. "I know I'm not the best at this job-"

Uh, what?

"But I'm trying! I can't just suddenly change my ways overnight, but I'm trying for you guys. But it seems that me trying isn't enough. You're obviously more suited as leader in terms of connecting the team, so why don't you just handle the ropes if I'm so bad at this!"

Cyborg stood in stunned silence. Robin doubted his position as leader? He wanted to hand him the role? A part of him felt a swell of pride because this was all he's ever wanted (_his own team_), but it was very small next to the crushing dread that _Robin didn't think he was good enough._

In all the years he's known the kid, he has never seen him look so unsure of himself. So _hateful_. What had caused this sudden shift? Things were just fine until a few days ago-

_Red X._

That's why Robin's been so distant and moody. He wasn't hurting from their anger and disappointment because Robin was more disappointed in himself than they were. They might've moved on and forgiven him because they knew his intentions, but to Robin, whose plan _literally _exploded in his face, all he saw was that he'd betrayed them.

A few days ago, he might've been happy that Robin realized his mistake, but Cyborg never wanted it to go this far. None of them did. No matter what Robin's done, he had _good _intentions with his plan, and that made all the difference to them because it meant _Robin didn't betray them. _He did all of it for them. He played the bad guy to take down the one guy that posed a real threat to them.

He was protecting them.

Cyborg felt like such an idiot. How hadn't he noticed this earlier? No one could wallow in self-hatred more than Robin can, how had he not seen this coming? Could Robin even recover from this now that he knew he _could _play the bad guy?

"Robin," Cyborg uttered. Something in his voice must've been different because Robin was finally looking at him. Despite the mask, he could see that Robin was anything but calm. His fists were shaking and his lip was twitching. He was sure that if he could see Robin's eyes, he would see anger and agony.

"What happened with Red X," he started hesitantly. "I can't pretend that the team wasn't hurt by this, because we were, but we've already said our pieces, so I won't say it again. And you know that already, don't you?"

Robin nodded curtly, his body tense. He waited for the inevitable "_okay_" because he knew how much Cyborg wanted to lead. He would be more suitable, especially since the team had more faith in him. He wasn't worthy of that faith. The tears stung in his eyes. _Not anymore_.

He parted his lips to speak, but he was cut off suddenly.

"YOU IDIOT!"

Here it is. Robin closed his eyes and braced himself. He was not prepared for the hand on his shoulder, nor the compassion in his teammate's eyes.

"You absolute idiot," Cyborg sighed, his voice softening. He has never sounded more like an older brother than he did now. The hand on his shoulder burned. What was happening?

"I refuse."

_Huh?_

"Huh?" he gaped at the taller male.

"You heard me," Cyborg huffed, pulling away his hand to cross his arms. "I refuse."

"What the-" Robin could not believe what he was hearing. He was supposed to agree and tell him what an asshole he is! He wasn't supposed to _refuse_! "Cyborg, this is your chance to finally be the leader! Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

"It is," Cyborg relented, "But not like this. Besides, the way I see it, this team already has a leader, and I'm lookin' right at him."

"Cyborg-"

"No, Robin," Cyborg reaffirmed. "I'm not letting you give up your title just because you wanna punish yourself or something. You made a bad judgment, so what?"

"'So what'?" Robin stared incredulously. "I betrayed the team and tried to team up with _Slade_! That's why!"

"Yeah, _tried to_," he pressed. Robin didn't look like he believed him, so he took another approach. "I know that you messed up, okay? And we all were hurt by that, yeah, but we thought over it and decided as a team that you did it for the greater good."

Robin was silent as he continued, "You didn't betray us for the sake of being evil, you did it _for _us. You calculated the risks and decided the best course of action would be to hurt us in the short-term, thus saving us from Slade in the long-run."

"You guys," Robin whispered. "Just like that?"

Cyborg grinned. "Hell yeah, man. You're our friend, and nothing will ever change that. You might be an asshole, but you're _our _asshole, so deal with it. You're stuck with us."

Robin sniffled, but a smile broke out on his face anyway. "I really don't deserve you guys. Thank you."

"We'll be the judge of that," Cyborg deflected. "Now, how about we go for some pizza? I'm starving!"

Robin laughed. This all felt so surreal. His friends forgave him. They didn't hate him. They still _trusted _him. A warmth spread in his chest, and his smile felt more genuine than ever.

He will never give this up, never again.

He bumped the fist waiting in front of him, and he grinned. "Hell yeah!"

"Awesome!" Cyborg cheered. "First person to the pizzeria gets first pick!"

Without warning, he raced towards the door. Robin laughed, _it is so on_.

"Hey, come back here you cheater!"

Cyborg ran ahead, grinning all the way. Yeah, Robin was a total ass, but he was an ass that cared about them, maybe a little _too _much sometimes. But that didn't matter, because no matter what Robin did, he would always be his friend.

* * *

**Robin is obviously smart af, and Cyborg is Cyborg, they'd TOTALLY geek out about science together! *sigh* wasted opportunities.**


	4. Starfire

**This one was by far the hardest to write. I don't even know why. I love Robstar, but this was just so friggin' hard to type. This one isn't my favorite but whatever.**

**DISCLAIMER: NOPE.**

* * *

Koriand'r escaped to Earth so she could hide from the Gordanians. She didn't plan on staying long, she just needed to lay low for a while. Maybe X'hal will be in her favor and let her escape back to Tamaran.

Except, she did not belong there anymore. Her sister sold her to the Citadel, she could no longer return to her home.

Where was she to go now?

And then the human intercepted her. He spoke in growls and threats that she could not understand, oddly contrasting his bright outfit. She wanted to tell him that she meant no harm, she just wanted to break her hands free-

But he couldn't. To him, she was just an alien threatening his fellow humans.

She fought back, but she couldn't keep up with her arms weighed down so heavily, and her starbolts were weaker because of her cuffs. She was going to die by the hands of a human before the Citadel could catch her.

Perhaps… perhaps this was for the best. It was better to die a warrior than a slave, right? But she _didn't want to die_, she wanted to see Galfore again. She snarled as the human neared. She will not die weak, she will die fighting to her last breath-

The weight on her arms dropped.

She tried to conceal her shock and confusion as the human kept talking in a strange tone she could not comprehend and using words she could not understand.

In a spur of the moment, she initiated a knowledge exchange. All at once, information flooded her mind. Once she had enough, she pushed him away and gave him a warning before she flew away.

That was supposed to be the last she'd see of the strange cute human, but it was not. He kept coming back to help her, and eventually, she let him. He was offering to help her fight the Gordanians, "being nice" as he'd said in his strange human tongue.

Nice? She was not rutha. She was brave, strong, a warrior-

Oh. He did not mean rutha. He meant kindness, he meant _friendship._ He wanted to be her friend? Without knowing her?

What a strange human.

But then they defeated the Gordanians, and he saved her from being captured again. How many times has he saved her already? Why was he so willing to save her without a cause? Just because they were _friends_?

He did not need a reason. He explained to her later on the strange tiny land (island, her new knowledge said) that friends did not need reasoning, simply trust.

She dared to believe him. Perhaps she could find a place for herself on Earth after all, with her strange new human friends. They all risked their lives unquestionably to help her, maybe she could trust them back.

Especially the cute one that seems to also find her flattering, if her new knowledge was accurate in saying red cheeks meant "having the crush" on someone.

And since then, she could not have dreamed of a better life. She had a new home with friends that cared for her. She had a new life, and a chance to simply make it her own without worrying about her duties as Princess Koriand'r.

She could just be _Starfire_, a Teen Titan that protected innocent people alongside her wonderful friends and her v'lorkna* Robin.

She felt so happy here on Earth, but if she were to contribute her happiness to one thing, it would be Robin. She had friends, but Robin was the one that started it all. He freed her. He welcomed her. He trusted her.

He loved her.

That night in Tokyo, the day Robin finally became her friend-who-is-a-boy ("Star, you can just say boyfriend."), is one of her fondest memories. She was so happy, she could not stop floating for a week afterward.

She could never forget the look on his face when she explained why she could not float down. He had blushed in that cute way earthlings do and, though he tried to seem unfazed, he smiled that soft smile that he only ever wore around her.

Robin would never know how much he's changed her life for the better, how much his love has made her happy.

Still, there was one thing that's been nagging her lately. Robin has said on multiple occasions that he trusted her, and she believed him, but she could not help but wonder why he always covered his eyes.

They were "dating" now, did she not have a right to know?

So, she asked him.

"V'lorkna Robin, why is it that you hide your eyes?"

Robin had looked startled when she asked him that. She almost regretted asking him because she feared he would do the "shutting her out", but he only remained silent.

He kept his gaze on the ocean, but Starfire has known him long enough to tell that he's simply thinking. Finally, he said, "I guess it's because… because this is all I am now."

"Please, I do not understand," Starfire cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Robin smiled at her, and though she could not see his eyes, she knew he was looking at her the same way she looked at him. With love. "I've been Robin for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to be… normal. I can't go back to who I was before Robin, and wearing a mask at all times helps with that."

Starfire considered his answer. So it was not because he did not trust her, it was because he simply saw himself as Robin and nothing more.

"_A hero is all that I am."_

Realization dawned on her. She could not tell if that saddened her or not. She had never known the boy under the mask, but she could easily say that she fell in love with Robin because he was Robin, not because he was a hero. Because he saved her. Because he freed her.

Was that not the same as loving the boy under the mask?

"Forgive me," She took his hand in hers and held it softly, afraid to put too much strength into her grip. "I never knew you before you were Robin, so to me, Robin _is _normal."

His cheeks flushed a little, but he was also smiling bigger now. He placed his other hand on hers, and he squeezed. "Thanks, Star."

"I am simply saying the truth," she smiled in return. "I do not need to know who lies under the mask because your mask is no longer a mask, it is who you are. To me, at least."

"You know, normally that would have a negative connotation," Robin grinned. "But I get what you mean."

"Good, because I do not wish to hear more of this self-doubt. You are Robin, my v'lorkna, and nothing can change that."

"And you're Starfire, my girlfriend, and nothing will change that either."

Starfire moved to lean closer to kiss him, but he stopped her. She looked on in confusion as he raised his hand to his face, no, his _mask_.

"Robin-" she started.

"No, I need to do this, Star," Robin insisted. "I don't know if I'll ever tell the others, but you at least deserve to know, both as my girlfriend and my best friend."

"If you are certain," she uttered softly. Then, she reached out and pulled away his hand to replace it with hers. "But may I do it?"

Robin's smile was response enough.

She tenderly peeled off the mask, holding her breath. When the cloth finally fell away, she heard herself gasp softly as she stared into the startling blue eyes of her beloved. Like the sky above them, clear and so, so blue.

It took her breath away.

Robin laughed softly at her awed expression, but it froze in his throat as her hands softly caressed his face, so unlike her alien super-strength. "Starfire-"

"They're beautiful," she breathed. "So very beautiful."

A lump formed in his throat, but he swallowed it down as he stared into shining green, so full of love. All of that love was directed at him. What did he ever do to deserve this beautiful alien?

Her lips met his before he could respond, and his eyes closed on their own accord. The touch was soft and chaste, as were all their kisses, but Robin has never had the urge to push farther than that. He loved their soft kisses because they signified something more than attraction: love.

They didn't pull away until they needed the air. Robin leaned closer, pressing his forehead to Starfire's tenderly. Starfire met him halfway, and they stayed like that, just staring into each other's expressive eyes as they smiled like a pair of dorks.

Finally, Starfire giggled. "You are so very cute when you're shy, i'vael*."

"Hey, I am _not _shy," Robin protested lightheartedly. "I am the boldest man you'll ever meet."

"Oh, yes, definitely," she was still giggling.

"Why, you," Robin could not even pretend to be annoyed at his girlfriend, not when she was so happy. A smile graced his features without him even noticing. That happened often around Starfire.

Starfire paused when a hand grabbed hers tenderly. Then, she watched with orange cheeks* as Robin pressed a chaste kiss to the back of her hand, almost like the way Galfore did but better. This wasn't out of respect, this was purely an act of love.

"Dick Grayson at your service, my fair lady," he said with an exaggerated accent.

She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. This was a side of Robin that she only saw around her, the side that goofed around and smiled dopily, and she loved it when he was like this.

"I am Princess Koriand'r of Tamaran," she said, playing along. "What makes you think you are worthy of a princess of my status, Mr. Grayson?"

Robin smiled when he replied, "I am not, and I never will be. But I hope that you will still grace me with your love."

Her heart nearly exploded, but she held it in and simply inhaled. How did Robin do these things to her without trying?

She wrapped her arms around his neck at the same time his arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned in close and whispered against his lips, "I'm sure you can convince me."

Robin grinned and closed the distance.

Nothing has ever felt more freeing than their lips touching, their hearts bare as they loved and loved and loved.

* * *

**V'lorkna: an abstract word meaning lover or partner, but much more at the same time.**

**I'vael: beloved.**

**Yes, I made those up. Author's privileges, suck it up.**

***I think starfire blushes orange in the cartoon, but I'm not sure. either way for her to blush red would make no sense so orange it is!**


	5. Group

**Okay um, WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: RECOVERING FROM RAPE AND LOWKEY MENTIONS TO SUICIDE. IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, IT'S BEST YOU DON'T READ THIS (As much I want you to *sigh*).**

**That aside, I'm sorry this chapter took so long. Inspiration for this one came in bits and pieces, so I had to pause for certain periods of time. I hope it was worth the wait because this is definitely one I'm proud of.**

**I tried to keep them as IC as possible, but because we don't see that many cutesy scenes in canon, they MIGHT come off as OOC. But, I tried, so enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: must I say it every time?**

* * *

It all happened so fast. Where they once stood frozen, they were all suddenly moving in a blur of motion, reaching for-

"ROBIN!"

Bang!

* * *

It all started two weeks ago after they rescued Robin from Slade.

The Titans celebrated that day, boy did they celebrate, but deep down they all knew one thing: they were too late. Five months, to be exact. Robin had been missing for five months, and he spent every single day of those months with Slade. They knew Robin wasn't entirely there during their celebration, even if he seemed to be happy. But they didn't say anything, didn't pry, because they just wanted to enjoy the fact that their friend was finally back.

How stupid of them, of course, he wasn't.

How could they expect him to just snap back to his old self after everything that had happened? Robin refused to open up about his time with Slade, but they didn't need verbal confirmation to know that it was horrible.

They didn't need words because it showed in little bits: the way he flinched at the slightest touch like it's burned him, the way his smiles were so, so brittle like they could collapse at any second, the way he no longer let anyone bandage his wounds for him like there was something he didn't want them to see.

The way he woke up every night screaming.

They could take down monsters, demons, and beasts, but nothing had prepared them for the horrifying sound of their friend waking up screaming in terror, thrashing and begging for someone to "stop" and "don't do this".

Someone, like Slade.

They wanted to help him so badly, and they each tried their way with him, but nothing seemed to work because it always went the same way: a tight smile and a shaky "I'm fine".

Eventually, they stuck to just pretending it never happened and going about their day as usual, because even a blind man could see the way Robin was barely holding on. They wanted to help, but some things just couldn't be healed with a warm hug and words of love.

No matter how much they wanted them to.

* * *

Days passed, and things were going as usual. Wake up, fight over breakfast, train, kick bad-guy butt, chill until the last step repeats. Then, the cycle changed when they heard a scream.

They were driving home from another victory when they heard it. It took less than a second for their instincts to kick in and head in the direction of the ruckus. Nothing had prepared them for the sight they stumbled upon.

Cyborg heard the sound of horrified gasps from his teammates, but all he could see was the woman being held down by a large man as he… as he…

He couldn't even fathom the thought. He froze as he tried to process what he was seeing, what they had failed to stop. From what sounded like miles away, an enraged roar rang in their ears. For a moment, Cyborg thought it was Beast Boy, but his eyes said differently as they all watched as their leader ran at the... The rapist with a burning rage.

That snapped them out of it, and then they were moving to help Robin. But there wasn't any help to provide because Robin already had the man down and was beating him to a pulp.

For once, no one moved to stop him.

Starfire and Raven hurried to help the woman that was crumbled to the ground, sobbing hysterically. Beast Boy stood by Cyborg, unsure what to do in the face of what he was witnessing.

He had never felt so useless.

Cyborg shook his head. He was the oldest in their team, what was he doing just standing there as his younger friend was taking action? He turned his eyes to Robin and was surprised to see that Robin had stopped. Which was… good, he thought reluctantly. As much as this scum didn't deserve it, heroes didn't beat people like that.

A second later, a loud laugh echoed in the alley. Their eyes turned to the man being held down by Robin. The man was laughing? Everyone was equally puzzled, but Robin didn't share that sentiment because he wasn't frozen, he was shaking.

"What's the matter?" the man laughed. "I was only indulging myself, she was asking for it with the way she was dressed!"

Starfire was the first to snap, "You will not speak of her that way you scum! She did nothing to deserve such a horrible thing!" her eyes were glowing like they were seconds away from frying him, and Cyborg almost indulged the thought of letting it happen.

"Of course, she did!" the man grinned. "I am superior, she had no right to say no to me. I was doing her a favor!"

Cyborg clenched his fists, ready to sock the man when he stopped at the sound of a loud crack!

Shrill screams of pain rang in place of the laughter, and they all watched as the man gripped his right arm in pain.

Robin broke his arm.

"Dude…" Beast Boy breathed quietly. "Did he just-"

"What's the matter?" Robin's voice echoed, but it didn't sound like him at all. It was so cold and cynical. Starfire shivered. It sounded so wrong, so unlike Robin. Raven tensed beside her.

"Why aren't you laughing anymore?" Robin continued. "Weren't you just a second ago? Didn't you say it was funny how helpless and scared she was?"

The man was shaking now. "I-"

"Oh, wait," Robin paused for effect. "You can't because now you're helpless and scared. Not as funny when you're the one in pain, is it?"

"Please, let me go-" he begged.

"But it's incomplete, don't you think?" Robin asked. "Because you weren't going to stop at rape, you were going to kill her, too, weren't you?"

"No, I swear I wasn't-"

"Then why," Robin moved to pull something from the man's pants, "Do you have this?"

The man froze, his eyes on the gun in Robin's hand. The hero's words echoed in his head.

It's incomplete.

"No no no no, listen, please-!"

The feel of the cool barrel pressing against his skull stopped his begging, and his pupils dilated as he realized what was happening. His shaking increased tenfold, and the sound of the surrounding Titans blurred as his heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears.

He looked up at the towering form of Robin. This wasn't right, Robin was a hero. Heroes didn't kill, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was bluffing. He was bluffing, right? But no, that face… that blank, emotionless face, was not that of a bluffer. This was real. This was happening. He was going to-

"ROBIN!"

_Bang!_

Four pairs of eyes turned to stare in horror at their leader, and everything melted around them. What just happened? Did Robin just-?

Nononono-

A groan rang in the air, and they collectively let out a relieved breath. Robin hadn't killed him! Of course, he didn't. Why would he ever…

But the way he stood calmly, not a hint of hesitation, the way he held it against his head like he would actually do it-

The bullet hole smoked from its place in the brick behind the unconscious man.

Robin hadn't killed him, but the man believed he would.

Oh, god.

"Robin," Starfire said quietly, still frozen beside Raven, who, for once, lost her poker face and looked so, so horrified. She had tried to read Robin to see if he was bluffing, but… but she felt nothing. No anger. No pain. No remorse.

Nothing.

Robin finally turned to them. "Take him away, I'll call the police."

And as he walked away, no one followed him.

* * *

The deafening silence followed them all the way home. Robin was nowhere to be found.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Beast Boy said to a worried Starfire. The grimace on his face said otherwise, but none of them called him out on it.

Starfire nodded but remained silent.

Just as the silence began again, it was cut by Cyborg's aggravated sigh. "Who are we kidding? None of this is okay, it never was in the first place."

Beast Boy's ears drooped. "You mean… Robin was never okay like he said he was?"

"That much is clear," Raven voiced solemnly. "We all knew it, we just didn't know what to do about it, so we pretended it was all okay."

"But not anymore," Cyborg declared. "This has gone on long enough."

"But Robin refuses to speak of it," Starfire retorted. "I wish to help Robin, but he will not let us. What can we do?"

"Ignoring it hasn't done anything, which means it's time we faced this issue head-on," Raven said. "He needs to talk about it. The more he bottles it up…"

"The more he snaps," Beast Boy breathed. Raven gazed sadly at him, knowing how hard he was taking this. They all were, but Beast Boy was the one that admired Robin as more than just his friend, but as a hero. To see your hero so close to snapping, it had to hurt. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, sending him a small smile.

"He'll get through this somehow," Raven reassured him, surprised at how confident she sounded. "It might take a while, but we'll be there with him every step of the way."

Beast Boy smiled. "Yeah, you're right. It's Robin we're talking about. If anyone can beat trauma, it's him!"

Starfire visibly lifted. "Yes, Robin is strong."

They all smiled. Robin would get through this, and they would be there to make sure of it.

The sound of the door sliding open startled them, and they turned to see Robin standing there. A very injured Robin.

"Robin, what happened?" Starfire gasped, flying over to her boyfriend. "You are hurt!"

"It's fine, Star," Robin brushed it off, walking past her.

"At least let me heal your wounds," Raven offered. She kept her voice steady and emotionless as always. If there was anything Robin hated, it was being coddled.

Robin seemed to consider her offer. Then, he conceded, "Sure, thanks, Raven."

He walked past them to sit on the couch, missing their relieved smiles. Robin accepting help was a good sign. One small step in the right direction.

As Raven scanned for all his injuries, the rest settled around him. Starfire on his right, sitting close enough for him to be comfortable, Cyborg next to her, and Raven to his left. Beast Boy, ever the unorthodox one, morphed into a cat and settled in Robin's lap.

If Robin minded, he didn't show it. Not that Beast Boy thought he did, considering he was petting him softly. Robin may deny it, but he was totally an animal lover, Beast Boy grinned inside.

"All done," Raven signaled. Robin looked ready to get up but was stopped by Starfire's hand landing on his, gripping it gently.

"Robin," she started. "We need to talk."

Robin broke into a teasing grin. "You know that's how most break-up speeches start, right?"

"Oh, no!" Starfire denied vehemently. Her grip tightened, and Robin looked at her questioningly. "I will not be doing the 'breaking-up' anytime soon, i'vael. This is about-"

"What happened back there?" Cyborg cut in. He shot Starfire an apologetic look but continued. "I get that you were pissed, we all were, but what gives?"

Before Robin could set up his defenses, Beast Boy jumped off and morphed back. "Please, Robin. You can't keep ignoring this! We all hear you every time you have a nightmare! This isn't okay!"

Robin looked at him sharply. "What-"

"Animal hearing, dude," Beast Boy grinned weakly. "Don't try and change the subject either, mister!"

"I hate to say this," Raven sighed, "But Beast Boy's right."

"Hey!"

"What are you talking about?" Robin tried for a grin, but it fell into a grimace. "Nothing is wrong-"

"We tried to ignore it for your sake," Raven continued, "But it seems avoiding the problem isn't working anymore. You need to let it out of your system if you want this trauma to start healing. Bottling it up isn't doing you any good."

Starfire finally spoke up. "Raven is right, Robin. We tried to respect your boundaries, but you are not helping yourself, please, let us help you!" She turned her sad gaze to his own masked one. How she wished she could take off his mask to know what he was feeling.

Robin looked over each of them slowly. All he could see was their sad and desperate expressions, begging him to let them in. He released a slow breath and closed his eyes as he leaned back into the couch.

"I'm sorry," He breathed quietly, "You're right, I'm not okay. Not since Slade."

"I tried to get a read on your emotions when you snapped," Robin flinched at Raven's wording, but she kept going. "I felt nothing. It's like you weren't even there."

Robin looked away from her patient eyes. It was like she was looking right into his soul. To have such an intimate bond with someone, it was terrifying, especially now when he couldn't lie his way out of this.

"I wasn't," He answered. They had never heard their friend sound so down. They were so used to his confident smirk and haughty attitude, and to see him like this, like he was lost and confused, was painful.

"I…" Robin clenched his free fist, his other gripping Starfire's back. "I wasn't there, not really. When I saw that woman, what he did to her… It was like everything went blank. My emotions overwhelmed me, and I let them rule my actions."

"If that were the case, I would have felt that overwhelming emotion," Raven inquired.

"I know," Robin nodded. "But as I said, I wasn't really there. I was… reliving a memory, and those emotions drove me."

Understanding dawned on her. Robin felt empty because he wasn't there. He was inside a memory, and all his feelings remained there, leaving his mind to act on that memory's influence. Which begs the question…

"What was the memory?"

Robin tensed, and the team was willing to bet that he was glaring under his mask. "Raven-"

"No, Robin," Raven interrupted. "We need to know what triggered this so we can prevent it from happening again."

"Oh, so now it's about the poor criminals?" Robin snarled. He snatched his hand from Starfire's and stood abruptly. "You can't tell me he didn't deserve it! They _all _do!"

Cyborg spoke this time. "What is your deal, man? You never snap like that, even when it's Slade!"

Robin laughed sarcastically. "It's what I _always _do with Slade, Cy. You just never notice because he always separates me from you and he's stronger than me."

"Fine, but that doesn't mean you could-"

"I don't care if it's not okay!" Robin yelled. "He was a _rapist_. How many people do you think he raped before we caught him? How many did he impregnate? How many women will have to face shame and ridicule for what he's done to them?"

Starfire flinched. Robin had explained to her before what rape was, and the act horrified her. How could anyone force someone to be their partner? How could society shun the people that suffered so?

"Robin, I share your anger but this is unlike you," Starfire begged. "I wanted to hurt him as well, but you always tell us not to act on such emotions. What has caused this change?"

"It's nothing-"

"Beating a man halfway to death is _not_ nothing," Cyborg crossed his arms.

"Yeah, dude," Beast Boy piped in. "You always hold back, but this time it was like it was personal."

_Personal. _

The realization struck them like lightning, quick and shocking. Robin couldn't control himself because this was a personal grudge. It couldn't have been the person because the man would have recognized him, so that had to mean…

Beast Boy felt his lunch rise to his mouth.

_Robin was raped._

The silence returned, and Robin could only watch helplessly as his friends realized the truth behind his actions. They knew. They knew they knew they knew-

"That's what the memory was," Raven whispered. "You… you were raped."

Robin kept his gaze to the carpet, but he couldn't stop the shaking in his shoulders or the wetness in his eyes. He tried to call himself, but his intake sounded more like a choked sob.

"Oh, man," Cyborg breathed. "Rob, we didn't realize… I mean, who…?"

Robin didn't answer, but somehow they all knew the answer. The last few weeks rushed through their heads, specifically the first few days of Robin's freedom. The way he avoided large crowds, the way he always dressed his own wounds, the way he was never seen cuddling Starfire again, the way he avoided touch like it could burn him…

All of which occurred after they saved him from _Slade_.

The dread inside Cyborg was squashed under the sudden wave of anger burning through his veins. "That bastard! How could he do this to you?!"

Robin flinched under their gazes, and he had to stop his arms from automatically hugging himself in defense. He couldn't afford to look so weak in front of his friends, not after this revelation. But… But they already knew, so what was the point anymore?

Robin collapsed onto the couch again, slumping forward with his face in his hands. "I'm-I'm sorry," he choked out. "I just, I couldn't stand being rejected for this. I already pushed you with Red X, and then when I betrayed you… I couldn't face that shame again."

"_How many women will have to face shame and ridicule for what he's done to them?"_

Robin thought they'd reject him for this. He believed they would shun as soon as the truth came out. _Because that's the reality of what happens._

They didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone that just revealed they were raped by the same man that held them captive for five months? Possibly multiple times as well?

Starfire was the one to step up. She settled down next to her boyfriend and placed a soft hand on his shoulder, testing the waters. When he didn't react negatively, she started, "On Tamaran, when warriors go through trauma and survive, they are celebrated."

Robin looked up from his hands, giving her a lost look that she so wanted to replace with his boyish grin again. She smiled sadly, "Because survival is a sign of bravery. Of strength. Of power. By surviving trauma, you have proven that you have the strength to keep living. And that is the bravest thing a warrior can do."

Robin clenched his fists. "I didn't survive. I'm not strong. Look at me! I'm barely holding on as it is-"

"But you're still here, aren't you?" Raven cut in. "You chose to live despite what happened."

"Isn't that all that matters?" Beast Boy finished with a grin.

"How can you say that?" Robin swallowed. "I didn't fight back! By the end of the day, I was his obedient little soldier! That is not bravery or strength! It's-"

"Survival."

Robin gave a startled look and looked up at Cyborg's smiling figure. Cyborg said, "What's it matter what you did if you survived in the end?"

"You guys saw me that day," He whispered. He lowered his eyes and stared blankly at the hands that almost killed his friends time and time again. "I gave up. You guys never gave up searching for me, and I gave up a month in. How cowardly is that?"

He laughed cynically, but the sobs that escaped him said otherwise. They looked for the right words to say, but Robin beat them to it.

"In the beginning, I fought back against everything. Every order he gave me, I spat at it and said 'no'. I honestly thought I could stick it out until you found me, but I was wrong," Robin's voice was low, but the pain and agony were loud and clear. He laughed bitterly, his eyes never meeting theirs. "Slade… Slade told me that if I kept disobeying him, he would have to take 'desperate measures'. I thought he meant he'd beat me black and blue or something, so I kept pushing because I honestly thought I could survive that. I've been tortured before, I could handle a simple beating."

Starfire's heart broke for the mess that was her boyfriend. He was trying so hard to keep it together, but his shoulders were shaking, as were his fists, he was sobbing quietly, though he might not realize, and there were tears on his face. She reached out to hold his hand, but he avoided the touch. Tears shone in her own eyes. This damage… would it ever be repaired? Can they ever be lovers again if Robin was so terrified of intimacy?

"One day," Robin swallowed, trying to muster the words. "One day, he finally snapped. I taunted him as usual, but instead of hitting me, he just grabbed me and started dragging me to a _bedroom_. I knew immediately what he would do."

A sudden weight in his lap startled him, and he looked toward the source to see a green cat, looking up at him with big green eyes that were wet with emotion. Robin cracked a small smile and stroked Beast Boy as he tried to collect himself.

"I've always known about his attraction to me. It was kind of hard to miss with the way he stared at me all the time, even the way he said my name was different. I just…" a sob escaped him, and then another, and another, until he couldn't stop. "I never wanted him to go that far."

"Robin," Raven whispered. Her voice was thick with emotion, so unlike her blank nature, and her poker face was replaced with silent tears. The wave of sadness he could feel through their bond was startling enough for him to jump when she placed a hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. I know you might think otherwise, but it wasn't. You never wanted this. You acted the same way any unwilling captive would. You somehow avoided the worst-case scenario of developing Stockholm syndrome, and that alone is an amazing feat."

Robin shook his head. "I could have stopped it by just obeying orders."

"So, why didn't you?"

The question surprised him, as it did the others, and he fumbled for a reply. "Because…"

"Because you believed in us," Raven smiled.

"No, I- If I did, I wouldn't have given up so quickly."

"Dude," Beast Boy stared at him in awe. When had he shifted? "You believed we would save you in time, so you kept fighting back even after he threatened you!"

Robin was honestly at a loss for words, so he could only nod silently in response. It was true, he did believe they would save him, it's why he kept pushing Slade's limits without any fear. But he'd still given up, and he hadn't lasted as long as he would've liked.

Starfire noticed his expression shifting and intervened. "Do not do the hating of yourself, Robin!"

His eyes wide, he could only stare. "How did you-"

"Please, we have been v'lorkna for so long, did you not think I would learn all your expressions by now?" Starfire smiled. Hesitantly, she reached out her hand. When he didn't show any signs of avoiding it, she placed it gently on his cheek and stared into his masked eyes. She could almost imagine his blue eyes shimmering with emotion. "It does not matter that you stopped fighting. What you did was not surrendering, it was adapting and surviving in an unknown land until you could escape. And you did."

"Starfire," he breathed.

"I am happy that you still found it in you to believe in us after we took so long," she said guiltily. "Had we not taken so long, you wouldn't have had to remain there for so long. But it will be okay now because we will be here to help you heal your scars."

She ended with a smile and a soft caress to his cheek. He leaned into her touch, the touch he'd begged for every night after the torture ended. He had dreamed of seeing her beautiful green eyes, hearing her sweet laughter, feeling her warm touch. He dreamed of all of them, but her mostly.

And then three other pairs of arms were wrapping around him, surrounding him in a cocoon of warmth. Of friendship. Of love.

And that's when he let himself sob freely into the arms of his friends, feeling safer than he ever had before. He doubted he would ever forget his time with Slade, but that doesn't mean that he can't learn to move on.

And slowly, with his friends by his side every step of the way, he will heal.


End file.
